11 October 2010

~ dirty scraps ~ 'my' own lies


hiya chickies! first off i'd like to wish everyone a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING! hope you all have a wonderful day ~ spent with family and friends. dh and i have been down with a crazy cold that just won't let up - so the two of us are stayin in..and stayin warm! we're gonna cook up a nice lil dinner for ourselves tonight and watch a few movies. on the scrappin side of things ~ i created this lil pumpkin for our table. yep, it's there now and is going to be part of our thanksgiving setting today. the lo is created for the new challenge over at dirty scraps. again ~ the dt rawked another challenge with amazing creations. thanks again ladies for your inspiration. oh...and gotta tell ya ~ I WON #17 challenge at dirty scraps...some copics...how kewl is that eh! i so can't wait for them to arrive so i can get playin.

halloween pumpkin

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'my own lies'

the journaling comes out behind the transparency to reveal more journaling
the journaling reads:
i just don’t get it sometimes ~ the lies i sometimes tell ‘myself’ ~ as stand and face the ‘man in the glass’. i try to justify my responses and actions towards ‘certain’ people when in fact ~ it is me who should be telling the truth. it is me who should taking off the facades and facing reality. i stand there in front of certain people ~ who have indespicably hurt me ~ and words come out of my mouth like ‘yes’...and ‘ok’...and i agree and sometimes laugh ~ and i fake a smile ~ and hug...yet cringe inside..when in reality ~ when deep down inside ...the truth is i really don’t want to participate in certain people’s lives...beacause they’ve had a profound effect on my emotional serenity....and have deeply hurt me...and yet it is me that stands there..and stays in silence with my pain ~ it is me who has the deficiency to love myself enough... it is me that lacks the courage..it is me who is afraid sometimes to say it ‘just the way it is’...it is me who pretends at times to ‘like‘ certain people. it is me who tries to justify ~ it is me who has that false sense of hope...when in fact ~ i know ~ it’ll never change.it is the ‘man in the glass’ that needs to face the truth ~ the real truth ~ and quit lying to herself ~ it is me....who needs to change.it is me who needs to face these people ~ stand up with enough respect for myself ~ and say it ~ the way ‘it is’. stand and be true to ‘yourself’.
 HUGZ


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19 comments:

Pinky said...

OHHHH Mel, I so struggle with this!
Oh my goodness you have touched me so much I am sitting here in tears.
Just recently I was terribly hurt by careless actions of another and I realized she never cared for me at all, she used me to help her career, and get things from me...anyways...I was AFRAID to not have her in my life and I told myself the repercussions would be too great if I did not keep her as a friend. I thought people would hate me and I would look bad and I would be lonely.
It took my husband setting me down to say, "This has gone on long enough and you can't allow it anymore, its wrong and I have bit my tongue too long" for me to realize I had to stand up for myself.
I know I wrote a novel I am sorry but this just touched me so deeply.
It is a stunning piece of art and I love this! Thanks so much!

melody said...

oh girl ~ you're such a sweetheart! sending ya the biggest hugest hugz eva! i admire your honesty and for sharing with me ~ it helps to know that i am not the only one that struggles with this! it IS difficult sometimes 'to stand up' for ourselves and just 'say it' ~ thankx for being YOU!

Jackie said...

Mel, another work of art with words of wisdom from the heart. You are not alone with being afraid of standing up for yourself. I too struggle on a daily basis with that issue.

Janelle said...

I just wanted to say I love your page and your words definitely echo what I have sometimes felt in my life...I think everyone feels that way at least one time in there life and it is most definitely sometimes a struggle to make it through!!! Hugs to you!!!

Donna C said...

Another layout from the heart Mel ! I think we all struggle with this at some point ! Well said and beautiful work ! You have touched me deeply with your " truths " ! I love your little pumpkin too .... and feel better !!!!

MaRLeNeF said...

hey mel, thanks so much for your sweet sweet comments on my blog :) I love your pumpkin and your layout is beautiful! xxx Marlene

Colleen said...

Beautiful layout and those works could fit so many of us. Just continue to be true to you and forget what the rest think. I love you

Michelle Jamieson said...

Hi Melody!
Thanks for popping by my blog and your lovely comments on my layout!

Enjoy your Thanksgiving! :)

Chelle Xx

Rhonda V. said...

This is such powerful journaling and it is so amazingly true for many of us. I applaud you for putting it to paper, for loving yourself enough to stand up straight and tall and say no, not really ok for me.

Allison Cope said...

I think we have all wanted to share our "real" selves Mel. Know that I'm thinking of you.

Ally.

Karen said...

That's such a sweet pumpking Mel! And, I must say I am totally in love with the layout colors, design, little flowers splashed, and all the elements and journaling. This layout rawks!!

Hugs,
Karen

Mara... said...

What a beautiful layout and such powerful journaling. I have missed seeing your projects on your blog, i'm glad we can reconnect!!! Hope all is well with you, Melody!

Desire Fourie said...

Oh wow Mel, what a special page with real thought provoking journaling. Are you creating a memoirs of your own life and feelings?
You are also very creative with words.
Hugs
Desire

Heidi McGregor said...

Dear Mel... I can tell through following your blog that you are a beautiful person. I love your journaling. It's amazing how you put into words some of the same things I feel on a daily basis. You're not only an amazing inspiration with your paper crafting, but you have such a talent at putting into words how you feel... you can paint a picture with words and I take so much inspiration from that... thank you for all you do! Blessings!

katy said...

Heyyyy Melody :)
It's been so long, I'm so sorry chick ! And what a profound piece of writing that I can so relate too, thank you for sharing, you're not alone with this ! You take care of you Melody :) Thank you so much for your visits hun....and 'Happy Thanksgiving' love and hugs Katy x

Inspiring visit as always you are a talented lady xx

humel said...

Congrats on your win, and wow, I love the little pumpkin and the gorgeous detail on the layout! The journaling is so open and honest, really moving. Thanks so much for sharing xx

Kelly C said...

Great page! I think we all struggle with just going along for fear of what might happen. Remember to hold true to you - nobody else will!

Dawn said...

Oh my word Melody this is just stunning, the artwork, the pumpkin everything and once again you bare your soul and yup! stand up and be counted, I know from experience it is sooo hard and I struggle every day at work.

Hugs

DAwn
xoxo

scrapunzel said...

Congrats on your win. Those words are so profound. I know that I've struggled with the same issues. Probably most of us have. You did a very good job of putting it down in words.